Lagos LASTMA

I made it to work today….I had to ask popsie for fuel money while my mum daggered me with intense looks :). He’s my DADDY! Lol. She hates the fact that I don’t carry cash on me, I’m still not used to having so much cash in my bag. Whatever I take out usually finishes quite quickly. Money is so easy to spend when It's in your hand. Then the traffic was horrendous. There are various road works going on in Lekki and on the Island. To get from Ocean view to Eko Hotel takes an hour right now!

This is a befitting time to tell you all about my LASTMA experiences. These people are a pain! They are meant to make sure we all follow traffic rules and ease traffic congestion etc. In Nigeria there are several uniforms, Traffic wardens (orange and black), Police (Black), LASTMA officials (tan and wine), Army (army green), Area Boys collecting money from public transport vehicles (bright yellow), then there are others that I know not what they do but wear assorted uniforms. All I know is that they are out to get theirs. They don't just give you a ticket like it should be, they haul your car to their station and suck out your life savings and waste your time or you can bribe them and they'll let you go. The first option is not worth it

I will detail my only two experiences. The two vary drastically because when I am first faced with a difficult situation, my first reaction is always frustration which 60% of the time, leads to tears no matter how I hard I try not to, its quite sad. The second time I’m faced with the same situation, it’s not pretty. In my first year of secondary school, I had a school mother in SS2 who I one day teased about never giving me goodies as the other school mothers did. Hey I’m only human. The next day I received a letter with every insult in this world you can think of in English, written in different coloured pens on a sheet of paper, addressed to me. I cried. A few days later, she called to see why I hadn’t come to visit her and I promptly told her I didn’t want a school mother anymore. There were interrogations, punishments, amebo influences from her friends etc, but I didn’t budge. She had KILLED the love. She was surprised I never cried which she moaned about, sadist. I've seen her after that, it was all childhood experiences I guess. I digress.

LASTMA ENCOUNTER PART 1

So one blessed morning I decided to use a quick route to get to work. If anyone goes via CMS/Bonicamp, you know there was a time there were no barriers. You could come from Onikan and join the cars going to Bonicamp instead of going up the bridge to Awolowo, Ikoyi sec etc. Well yours truly didn’t know it was a ‘military zone’ for military cars only. Military cars my A$$. Danfos and every Tope, Deji and Hilary take that route but of course I look like a JJC so as I was winding my way round the bend to join the traffic, a dude jumped in from of my car. At first I thought he was an agbero cos he wasn’t wearing the uniform. He told me to wind down….

ERROR NO 1 NEVER WIND YOUR WINDOW DOWN.

He asked me for my military pass and I asked him ‘You what?’ lol. I had no idea what he was on about. He said if I wasn’t part of the military, I had to park. On a side note there were several civilian cars and Danfos going by at this point. So he directed me to park on the bridge then I opened the door and he jumped into the passenger’s side. If I had any sense I would have kept driving up the bridge cos it was free but as I said JJC.

ERROR NO 2 NEVER OPEN THE DOOR

He listed my offences and asked if I hadn’t seen the sign which was in an obscure place and I said I hadn’t. “Well its there and your fine is 25,000”. By then frustration was setting in and the tears were welling up. Such a baby right? She disgraces me a lot. Anyways cutting it short cos I feel like I’ve blogged about this before, I ended up giving him a 'fine' of N5,000 so he wouldn’t ‘tow my car to the station’ and he let me go.

ERROR NO 3 NEVER SAY HOW MUCH YOU HAVE, N1000 is the most you should give if it gets to that stage.

LASTMA ENCOUNTER PART DEUX

After relating my experience to others, I was given the tope tips with dealing with these predators.

1. Don’t stop if you don’t have to.

2. Don’t wind down.

3. Lock your doors always

I didn’t think I was bold enough to take heed to the advice, but I had been hardened after the first experience. They would never get the best of me again.

I had appointment on the island and was running late. As I approach Akponbon, my phone rings and as I raise it up to answer, one dude in the LASTMA uniform jumps out from nowhere and stands in front of my car. He motions at the phone and uses his two hands to suggest I stop and park. I slow down and immediately put the phone down. I apologise with my hands and try to move on. He shakes his head saying I have to park so I move the car just a little bit forward. He warns me again saying I must stop. At this point there are no more cars in front of me so the only thing in my way is this dude. I inch forward. He calls his boy and they both stand in front of the car. YOU DON”T KNOW ME. I’m getting angry at this point. I didn’t even talk into the phone, I just picked it up! So with all the anger in me, I REVVVVVVVVVVVVV the car engine (lol, the car has issues, it doesn't move immediately when you accelerate), and those two dudes...? I’m sure they’d win in an Olympic 100m sprint. SUCKEEEEEERS.

NOTE TO YOUNGNS: DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME. PLEASE LET YOUR CAR BE TOWED AND PAY THE FINE. THANKS

How was you weekend? I went out Saturday night to the new Lounge next to Bacchus also owned by the management of Bacchus. 6 Degrees North. It’s very very nice. Make sure you go when you are in Lagos.

To the Left

Here's Beyonces Video. Have you ever dumped someone? I haven't ..more like mutual agreements to end the relationship. I would feel so bad but I guess when you're fed up, you're fed up. But really girls, would you be able to 'keep' a man. She paid his bills, bought his car etc etc. I have never had that kind of relationship, even with a girlfriend! It just seems like he is less of a man...and see the insult when she's throwing him out with his boxes. Guys, can you be kept men?

Amazing Grace

An Amazing Grace in Lagos


Picture from http://www.theamazinggracefilm.com

My country peoplleeeeee, I have finally watched a good quality Nigerian Movie. It’s called the Amazing grace and I loved it although there were a few cheesy moments. I went to the cinema with no expectations except the fact that I’d heard it was ‘good’ which is really subjective. Compared to all other Nollywood stuff I give it an A. The fact that the natives spoke Efik which was subtitled in English preserved the authenticity of the story centered around the slave trade period. I loved the cast especially one of the main characters ANSA whose name is Mbong Obungide. I think she did a good job for a first timer. Fred Amata the main dude was so so. KUDOS JETA AMATA! You did Nigeria proud.

The Amazing Grace is one of the most ambitious projects to come out of the Nollywood stable. Reputed to be the first major international feature film from the Nigerian movie industry, it highlights the epic story of the British slave trader, John Newton’s voyage to Nigeria in 1748, and how this experience helped inspired him to compose the world famous hymn, Amazing Grace.

The film was directed by the internationally acclaimed Nigerian filmmaker, Jeta Amata. Already one of the Nolywood’s top directors, Jeta Amata had recently worked with the BBC and two of his latest films were shown at last year’s Berlin Film festival. The Amazing Grace was also screened at this year’s Cannes Film Festival.

The movie, The Amazing Grace features a cast of renowned actors from Nigeria, the US and Britain, including Nick Moran (Lock Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels). Shooting started on December 1, 2004 in the Nigerian City of Calabar, which has recently become a Mecca of sort for filmmakers, with a multi-billion naira investment in state-of-the-art equipment and technology. The production was flagged off and has the backing of His Excellency, the Governor of Cross River State, Mr. Donald Duke, who has been instrumental to the success of the project.

In 1748, at the height of the slave-trading era, John Newton sails to the coast of Nigeria and the port of Calabar. Now captain of this ship, The Greyhound, his previous experience in the slave trade had turned him away from religion, into a coarse man with new morals.

Slaves were rounded up by force and trickery; villages raided and burned down, the captives kept in dungeons, chained like animals as John Newton fills his ship with his what he hardly considers human.

But as he leaves the Nigerian coast with a ship load of slaves, a violent storm brings John Newton to the point of death and causes him to re-evaluate his life. He attributes his miraculous escape to The Amazing Grace of God, although it is one of the slaves who actually saved him.

Despite receiving The Amazing Grace, John Newton continues his slave trading. It makes an act of humanity from one of the slaves he considers animals to show him the true meaning of the words. He finally renounces slave trading and decides to devote his life to religion.

2003 - 2006 @ Guardian Newspapers Limited (All Rights Reserved).
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Moving on

It’s a strange feeling…a mixed bag of emotions. I have moved on so many times in my life but it’s still with a little bit of excitement and apprehension.

I remember vividly moving from Benin to Lagos and starting school at Corona VI. I was the new kid on the block and most of the girls had their little clicks. I stuck to myself most times but tried to join in the fun and activities sometimes. I was painfully shy and very sensitive so I was easy an easy target. Even then I still had episodes of crazy behaviour like shifting my seat partners chair so he fell on his butt. He had been running to gossip about me with his friend each time he got up. I didn't mind school but didn't particularly like it. I would try so hard to fit in, be like the cool kids until I realised it was pointless and so I learnt to be myself and suddenly it didn't seem so hard anymore.

Then secondary school came and I wanted to be in the same school as my bestest cousin in the world so we planned it all and took the exams and at the last minute she decided she wanted to go to another school where all her friends were. So I had gotten myself into a big problem. Going to a school all the way in Benin where I knew no one and boy were the girls harsh. I had fallen back into my pattern...trying to fit in and coming across as soft and a very easy target. I still remember a girl called Chichi. On the last day of school in JS2 first term, all our friends had been picked up one by one until it was me and her left. She turned to me with disgust on her face…"How could they leave me here with YOU?!", and walked off. I can never forget, we didn't even have any quarrels before that. I was about 9 or 10. I never went back to that school. Not because of the 'incident' but the distance to Lagos and the fact that I was very ill that holiday.

I changed school and vowed I'd have a new beginning. I was going to repackage myself. I would not come across as soft, I would be strong. I would speak up for myself. I would give you ten for every one they gave me. I won the award for razor mouth the next year. But I was still soft when it came to certain people. I guess you just can't completely rid yourself of your innate personality. I remember having to go on a school trip and there being only one seat left on the bus but there were three of us left to get on. I decided to stick with my friend and miss the school trip but last minute...she got on. Yes you know who you are Ms T A-K lol. So it was me and the other girl who I wasn't really friends with left to make the most of the day.

Moving at 16 was another emotional moment. I was excited to be off, where I'd have freedom to do what I liked and I'd be too far away to be reprimanded. I was happy going to school and staying up late watching TV and shopping and eating take out and hanging out with my nigerian flatmate who was the total opposite of me. My defender. VOLTRINA. We were like sisters, I loved her but not all the time lol. This was freedom to me and I loved it. I wanted to be responsible so my friend and I decided to get a job. I remember my first job at MacDonald’s and getting a warning because I was 30 minutes late due to the fact that I'd locked myself out and my wallet was in the house. I even knocked on my neighbours’ door to borrow some money to get to work and back at which point I would promptly pay her because my flatmate would be home. I don't think she even answered me before shutting the door. It reminded me of my neighbours in Nigeria and how that could never have happened. I was so upset because I had never been late and the manager had not taken that into account. I quit shortly after and decided working with insensitive bosses wasn't for me. I also realised I didn't really need the extra money.

I remember at 17 getting to Uni and shedding tears in my room cos everything was so foreign and unfriendly and parents were dropping off their kids while I had pulled all my luggage alone from London to Bristol and to the campus. The room looked so bare and my flatmates barely nodded a greeting. I didn't want to be responsible; I just wanted to be at home eating a home cooked meal. I got over it eventually. I always do. Then I started having a little fun and eventually a blast.

I remember starting my MBA and having to go to Paris for the first leg. I had never been, didn't have an apartment and no one I met spoke any English. I had to get a place to stay, a phone, load credit on it, manoeuvre the metro, get to my Uni, and shop for food all in a foreign language. Boy did I bastardise that sexy language. I had many moments of frustration but it made me a stronger person. I was able to settle down eventually and also in the other countries we had to settle in but by then I had a good group of friends who were in for the ride as well. I even made more along the way especially the best group of Naija girls I met in Philly. I'm truly glad I met them. I had stopped trying hard to fit in a long time ago. I let people try and fit in with me.

Then the decision to move back to Nigeria. I had made up my mind. Many tried to sway me but I was certain that it was the right path to take but I didn't know why. For the first 5 months, I could have shot myself for probably making the most stupid decision of my life. Lagos is the capital of frustration especially when you are used to things working like clockwork. But guess what, things can only get better and they did. Many others moved back home, I got a job and wasn't bored anymore and we actually have fun, besides fun is what you make of your time.

Now I'm moving on to a new job, with new people and even though I’m apprehensive, I know from the pattern of my life, things can only get better from here. I'm going to miss my colleagues here. They are a great bunch of people who make me laugh all the time. I hope the new set isn’t ANAL. lol. I'm resigning formally today. Just waiting for the HR to step in then I'll send out the email.

Dear Friends,

This is to formally inform you all that I will be moving on.

I have resigned my appointment with X Limited and November 06, 2006 will be my last work day.

It has been a pleasure working with all of you and I have enjoyed the time I have spent working here but I have accepted a job offer in a different role to procurement which I believe will provide me with new career challenges.

I thank you all for your support and wish you all the best.

Regards

Tminx

Insight To My Life

Gud Dag!

My training week is finally coming to an end! Thank God cos I am exhausted. We are out at 7 and don't get back till at least 10pm.

Its snowing here in Sweden, can you believe it? The snow was unexpected and its been so comical. We were going somewhere outside stockholm on a bus when it started snowing and because the country was ill prepared, all the cars were slipping and sliding. Apparently people slept in their cars cos the couldn't get off the highway. We were lucky enough to stop by a train station and we took the train instead. We finally got home at 12 midnight. Its -2 and the floor is so slippery. My boots have no grips, its lucky I haven't fallen flat on my face yet. But its so beautiful!

Everyone speaks english here and right now I'm watching CSI NY in english subtitled in Swedish.

Shopping is a NO NO. Everything here is freaking expensive, even the food but man has got to eat. Its 1 dollar to 7 swedish kroners and I haven't spotted any poor people yet. Seems like this is an ideal country to belong to. Education is free till 18 and the get paid well.

I'll post some pics on Ofoto soon. It gets lonely in this damn hotel sometimes. Why don't I have some young man to talk to at times like these??? Being single can be such a pain sometimes! Enjoy the weekend all.

RIP

I have internet access, yay!

So sorry for the lack of postings last week. I was a bit apprehensive and didn't have it in me to post till I got a result, positive or negative. Well I thank God for bringing me through on a positive note.

I have been out of it but I just saw on the news that there has been another plane crash! What is happening!! This is the same time of the year the previous crashes happened. Can't the pilots control the planes during bad weather? I mean, other planes took of around the same time too i'm sure. Or are these planes just too old? Why hasn't something be done to prevent further crashes after a whole year. Lets watch all the hoo haaa end again and we will go right back to being passive about it all. I'm really sorry for our country oh. This is just too much. When is enough going to be enough?

Anyways I'm off to bed, I have a big day tomorrow. Have a lovely day.

UPDATE: HERE IS THE MANIFEST

To see that Abdurahaman name four times is heartbreaking. What is a mother to do?

Insight To My Life

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. They finally came through.

I don't even have time for a breather, the orientation/induction starts on Monday and goes on for a week so I have to leave today. I'll let you know it all when I get back. Have a great week!