Tuesday, March 14, 2006


At work....

Don't take your phone calls in my cubicle, you have yours

Don't pick up things from my desk feigning interest and asking questions especially as you see I am busy

Don't tap on the glass to get my attention to say hi each time you pass by....Yes I was ignoring you

Don't ask for my stapler each time you print, go to your desk and use yours

Don’t bring something to scan with the excuse that I’m already scanning, when I graduate to being secretary you will be the first to know!

Don’t come round and look at my screen to see what I’m concentrating so hard on, for Pete’s sake, I may be blogging about you!

Don't ask a question to which you already have an answer and refuse any contradiction

Don't send stupid forwards

Don't freeze us to death

Don't expect me to stay while you all go on leave

Don’t ask me where I’ve been if you are not paying my salary

Don't audit me, I dislike auditors! Such a pain!


Friday, March 10, 2006


Lo and be-hold a colleague sent this email out to all the ladies in the company a few days ago. Please read and enjoy. Considering that this lady hardly converses or emails us, many drew quick angry conclusions. Feel free to make a comment of your own.

Ok...so I walk in and you see me. You see that my hair is done, my outfit is fierce and I carry myself like a lady. I smile at you but you roll your eyes at me, then, turn your head and whisper something to your girl.Why you hatin'?

Ok... so maybe I'm a new employee and this is my first day at work. I almost thought I would be the only sistah in the joint until someone introduced us to each other. I smile and extend my hand, happy to know I won't be here alone.
You smile and shake my hand but there's insincerity in your eyes and your hand is limp. You seem guarded. What's wrong Ma'?

Ok ...so maybe my man and I have been having problems.
And since you've been my best friend for years I confide
in you that I think he'scheating on me. You offer your support.
Until I find out that he's been cheating on me....with you! Why would you hurt me like that?

I found your knife girl.....it's in my back.

As women we battle daily. We battle keeping our families together, keeping our men happy and maintaining our presence in the workforce. With all that battling going on why in the world should we have to battle each other?

Now I'm not saying every sistah has a knife...but some of you do(not I)....and you know who you are. Why is it that a woman can't get her glamour on without you having a problem?
Why can't I get a blonde weave without you having something to say?
If I'm working myself to death in the office trying to climb the corporate ladder...
why am I suddenly a sellout?
If I leave the room for a minute why can't I trust you around my man? Smiling in my face, but gossiping all my personal business behind my back? You now have permission to consider yourself triflin'!

Inferiority Complex.
It makes us feel that in order to be someone special we have to put everyone else beneath us. Are we so insecure inourselves that we can't feel good until we pull someone else down?
There's something wrong here.
We've come to envy those who've accomplished in their lives what we've only dreamed of having for ourselves. And when we fear we will never be able to get wha! t we want - we steal it.

There is a serious self-worth issue going on here. We're in a day and age where we should be encouraging each other and holding each other up.

Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!

I don't care how good Beyonce' looks - if she walks into the same roomI'm in, it doesn't make me any less of the diva I already am! I love admiring hairstyles...but there's no need to be jealous. Honey, nowadays there's enough hair for err-body. I have goals in life. There are things I strive to attain. Yet I seek out successful sisters because they keep me motivated.

Life is so much more than who looks the best, who dresses the best and who makes more money. So when you see your sister going for hers let it inspire you .... To do you

The e-mail makes sense and is totaly true about women in general (not me, butter wouldn't melt in my honeyed mouth) but my its a bit confrontional coming from someone I hardly know.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Big-Ups To Biggie

Last Sunday, Big Brother was launched in Nigeria at 7:00pm on DStv Channel 37. The house looks like the typical BB house and has 'africanised' decor in earth tones and greens which is not bad. Their towels are green too, the walls are green, the dairy room is green! They have a plunge pool (I hate the look of it), the beds are tiny and the kitchen has a smoke detector but no windows. It's on 20 hrs a day and I'm yet to see the highlights show on M-net which is on 3 days a week but I'm bored of the 20hr viewing, u miss all the good bits while at work or asleep! Get your act together BB Nig. To my knowledge, there have been no tasks or much contact from the BB Voice so all they do is EAT and booze, I mean, they really need to ration that stuff.


Chinedu 23 describes himself as ‘confident, kind, thoughtful, friendly and cool.” He says that his best quality is his leadership abilities though he admits that he “over-reacts sometimes.”

He has taken an abstinence vow and cleaned up the kitchen on the first night.

"Twenty- two year old Gideon enjoys the soulful sounds of musicians India Arie and John Legend. He says that his favourite place in Nigeria is the Obudu ranch and resorts where the scenery is “totally breathtaking.”

The text messages that flash across the screen indicate that most of Africa thinks he looks like Usher and is a hunk. He has a well built body and his claim to fame is that he is from Ajegunle.

Ebuka , 22, is also very proud of his father who he says “served Nigeria for 35 years without a single blemish.” In addition, Ebuka says that there’s no one he really wants to be like but “people like Dr. Eyimofe Atake San and Jeff Bezos (Amazon.com) inspire me”.

The whole of Africa is in love with this handsome morrasuckker. Girls from Zambia, SA, Accra etc are professing their undying love.

Fransisca, 21, despises ‘back-stabbers, cheaters(??), stubborn people and liars.” If she was to win BBN, she would “begin a pet project which everyone will benefit from”.

She is the official cook for the house. Always singing but her voice isn't bad so its ok. One sms said it seemed like she has more than the normal 32 set of teeth.

A professional dancer, Frank,29, says emphatically, “I am a loud person!” The 29-year-old is an entertainment lover who says that his best quality is that he can dance and his worst quality is that he is untidy.

Thinks BB Nig is where he is going to get his big break from because he is ever performing for the cameras. Exercises in the morning, doing yoga, dance moves etc.

Helen is interesting. The 25-year-old Aquarian from Lagos likes thriller novels, enjoys wearing singlets and short skirts and chills out to the old-school sounds of Paul Simon and Don Williams.

Reserved. Wore a stunning white outfit for the launch.

“I talk too much!” So says 21-year-old undergraduate student Ichemeta who describes herself as “a simple and small town girl who believes: no guts - no glory.”

Thank God she knows!!! She is SIMPLE and she is LOUD. Our official blonde in the house.

Ify says that her favourite book is the Bible. The 29-year-old Ify hails from Jos Plateau State. Her own personal motto is “Always look your best, no matter what time.” Ify’s favourite place in Nigeria is Jos which reminds her of her childhood

I would have thought she flew in straight from 'abroad' with her accent. I gave it a few days but its already wearing off. The public seems to have her in their bad books just for that. Let her be oh!

A single mother of one, Joan says that the daughter is the one thing in the world guaranteed to make her smile. Simple and straight-forward, Joan believes in the motto “live and let live.”

Joan has a face that makes her look like she's about to burst into tears. She's laid back and doesn't really seem like a winner to me.

Thirty-two year old Joseph is the oldest housemate in the Big Brother Nigeria house.Joseph goes on to state that he thinks his BBN experience will be “interesting, fun and full of challenges.”

Personally this is the cutest guy there (What do you guys think?, but Africa is blinded by Ebuka's cheeky face and Gideons muscles. Haven't heard much from him though. I think he's the only playing the game with a plan.

Maureen, 23, entered BBN “to meet people, and for a one in twelve chance of winning USD 100 000.” She relaxes by reading novels, watching movies, hanging out and cooking and she’s thrilled to know that audiences will be watching her from around the continent.

She's the cooks helper. I would not have believed she was 23! She is on the thick side and was prancing around in short shorts yesterday....

Standing at 6ft 8in, Yinka, 26, is one of the tallest Big Brother Nigeria housemates. He is proud of Lagos because he says that “it is a melting pot of different cultures”. Irritated by “fake, dishonest procrastinators”...

This guy is HUGE...and so are his lips. He's always doing these comedy sketches and rapping. Like Yinka, he is using BB as a stepping stone....actually, aren't they all??


Friday, March 03, 2006


TMinx: Hey Liz, Ur hair looks great! Where did you get it done (1)?
Liz: You haven't seen me all this week, I have had it for a while now, are you just noticing?
TMinx: I guess I haven't really seen you this week. Its nice though, where did you get it done (2)?
Liz: I didn't do it today, I got it done over the weekend.
TMinx to TMinx: Okaaaaayyyyyyyyy. Is this withholding information or WHAT!! Do you know where this convo is going?
TMinx to TMinx: No I really don't.
TMinx: Where did you get it done (3).
Liz: In VI, (she points vaugely to the south)
TMinx to TMinx: Where are we again?
TMinx to TMinx: We are in VI. Okay you need to stop.
TMinx: Okay, its nice.
Liz: Thanks. (Shakes her head and waltzes off)