Monday, November 06, 2006

Moving on

It’s a strange feeling…a mixed bag of emotions. I have moved on so many times in my life but it’s still with a little bit of excitement and apprehension.

I remember vividly moving from Benin to Lagos and starting school at Corona VI. I was the new kid on the block and most of the girls had their little clicks. I stuck to myself most times but tried to join in the fun and activities sometimes. I was painfully shy and very sensitive so I was easy an easy target. Even then I still had episodes of crazy behaviour like shifting my seat partners chair so he fell on his butt. He had been running to gossip about me with his friend each time he got up. I didn't mind school but didn't particularly like it. I would try so hard to fit in, be like the cool kids until I realised it was pointless and so I learnt to be myself and suddenly it didn't seem so hard anymore.

Then secondary school came and I wanted to be in the same school as my bestest cousin in the world so we planned it all and took the exams and at the last minute she decided she wanted to go to another school where all her friends were. So I had gotten myself into a big problem. Going to a school all the way in Benin where I knew no one and boy were the girls harsh. I had fallen back into my pattern...trying to fit in and coming across as soft and a very easy target. I still remember a girl called Chichi. On the last day of school in JS2 first term, all our friends had been picked up one by one until it was me and her left. She turned to me with disgust on her face…"How could they leave me here with YOU?!", and walked off. I can never forget, we didn't even have any quarrels before that. I was about 9 or 10. I never went back to that school. Not because of the 'incident' but the distance to Lagos and the fact that I was very ill that holiday.

I changed school and vowed I'd have a new beginning. I was going to repackage myself. I would not come across as soft, I would be strong. I would speak up for myself. I would give you ten for every one they gave me. I won the award for razor mouth the next year. But I was still soft when it came to certain people. I guess you just can't completely rid yourself of your innate personality. I remember having to go on a school trip and there being only one seat left on the bus but there were three of us left to get on. I decided to stick with my friend and miss the school trip but last minute...she got on. Yes you know who you are Ms T A-K lol. So it was me and the other girl who I wasn't really friends with left to make the most of the day.

Moving at 16 was another emotional moment. I was excited to be off, where I'd have freedom to do what I liked and I'd be too far away to be reprimanded. I was happy going to school and staying up late watching TV and shopping and eating take out and hanging out with my nigerian flatmate who was the total opposite of me. My defender. VOLTRINA. We were like sisters, I loved her but not all the time lol. This was freedom to me and I loved it. I wanted to be responsible so my friend and I decided to get a job. I remember my first job at MacDonald’s and getting a warning because I was 30 minutes late due to the fact that I'd locked myself out and my wallet was in the house. I even knocked on my neighbours’ door to borrow some money to get to work and back at which point I would promptly pay her because my flatmate would be home. I don't think she even answered me before shutting the door. It reminded me of my neighbours in Nigeria and how that could never have happened. I was so upset because I had never been late and the manager had not taken that into account. I quit shortly after and decided working with insensitive bosses wasn't for me. I also realised I didn't really need the extra money.

I remember at 17 getting to Uni and shedding tears in my room cos everything was so foreign and unfriendly and parents were dropping off their kids while I had pulled all my luggage alone from London to Bristol and to the campus. The room looked so bare and my flatmates barely nodded a greeting. I didn't want to be responsible; I just wanted to be at home eating a home cooked meal. I got over it eventually. I always do. Then I started having a little fun and eventually a blast.

I remember starting my MBA and having to go to Paris for the first leg. I had never been, didn't have an apartment and no one I met spoke any English. I had to get a place to stay, a phone, load credit on it, manoeuvre the metro, get to my Uni, and shop for food all in a foreign language. Boy did I bastardise that sexy language. I had many moments of frustration but it made me a stronger person. I was able to settle down eventually and also in the other countries we had to settle in but by then I had a good group of friends who were in for the ride as well. I even made more along the way especially the best group of Naija girls I met in Philly. I'm truly glad I met them. I had stopped trying hard to fit in a long time ago. I let people try and fit in with me.

Then the decision to move back to Nigeria. I had made up my mind. Many tried to sway me but I was certain that it was the right path to take but I didn't know why. For the first 5 months, I could have shot myself for probably making the most stupid decision of my life. Lagos is the capital of frustration especially when you are used to things working like clockwork. But guess what, things can only get better and they did. Many others moved back home, I got a job and wasn't bored anymore and we actually have fun, besides fun is what you make of your time.

Now I'm moving on to a new job, with new people and even though I’m apprehensive, I know from the pattern of my life, things can only get better from here. I'm going to miss my colleagues here. They are a great bunch of people who make me laugh all the time. I hope the new set isn’t ANAL. lol. I'm resigning formally today. Just waiting for the HR to step in then I'll send out the email.

Dear Friends,

This is to formally inform you all that I will be moving on.

I have resigned my appointment with X Limited and November 06, 2006 will be my last work day.

It has been a pleasure working with all of you and I have enjoyed the time I have spent working here but I have accepted a job offer in a different role to procurement which I believe will provide me with new career challenges.

I thank you all for your support and wish you all the best.




Uzo said...

Wow. Its official huh! So many moves but its all a good thing. May this new phase of your life bring blessings and abundance, happiness and peace of mind.

Funmi said...

Pray this new phase brings joy and true satisfaction.

LondonBuki said...

And me I have loved you ALL THE TIME! *sniff*

TM, you should be so used to changing your environment, this will be easy for you :-)

Well Done and Good Luck!

Parazone Super Bleach said...

Wow minxy...17 off to UNI!! Jesus! You had me a little teary eyed with your post.What strength you possess! As your history predicts you always emerge the victor.What a great story you'll have for your kids one day when you are telling you "mama has lived" story. Here is wishing you the very best in life and may God guide and protect on your new assignment. Us Taureans( yes I'm a May baby)are infallable and resilient

Boso said...

Hey, lovely post !!

The only constant thing about life is change, someone once said.

All the best in your new job !!

Thoughts said...

You reminded me of me in a way- painfully shy and always wanting to fit in, until I said, NO MORE, NO More!
Good luck in ur new job, gurl, if you're gonna be travelling all the time, then it sounds like fun already.Best Wishes

lurvchild said...

Well good on you tminx.
Think i spent the entire weekend going, "Well my friend E..." lol

i was almost crying myself @ this ur blog. where u see beginnings, i see endings, and it just really depresses me. i'm a very sentimiental sort i guess (well sometimes).

sooooooooo you did not answer all my questions abi you no get my txt??? hiss

TaureanMinx said...

@Uzo, thanks Ma!
@funmi, thanks a lot.
@londonbuki, you know I frustrate you jo, why the lieeeeeeeee. lol
@parazone, its not my strength oh, god has made me very resilient and I thank him for that. Thanks for the prayer :)
@boso, thanks, and change is good.
@thoughts, it does involve a lot of travelling and seeing as I have a sort of fear of flying its gonna be harder for me. I really have to shake the damned thing.

zaiprincesa said...

Good luck Tminx, as u embark on this new journey!

TaureanMinx said...

Lurvchild, I got it oh, sowee will reply in a sec.

TaureanMinx said...

Thanks Zai!

low said...

I even made more along the way especially the best group of Naija girls I met in Philly. I'm truly glad I met them.

ALAS!!!!...WE TRANSFORMED YOU INTO A LIL RASCAL..lollllllllllll. You are the true example of looks are deceiving. Its hard trying to get people to belive u have more guts than my next generation could possibly have..lolll

Congratulations on ur new job honey. I am really proud of you. See offers falling on ur laps anyhow'ly'...lolll

You sha never split that first pay check...lets see if we will get a piece of the 'phone pie' this time around!

Anonymous said...

Wow..that was so poignant...
While reading that, I was just like wow wow wow
Congrats on this new step
All the best with everything TMinx!

ms. may said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! It's always great to reflect on how far you've come especially when you're moving on to a new and hopefully better situation. You see that you've grown and you've matured and everything negative that happened in the past has only made you stronger. Great post and good luck o!

NaijaBloke said...

G'luck on the new job ...

Anonymous said...

Hey girl, I still love u even though u r still hating on me. Remember I was 11 then.

LOL. Anyways good luck with ur new job, maybwe u'll come around my side of the world. Looking forward to seeing u.

Loads of love.

Biodun said...

wow, girl u sure r d mover, I like ur spirit n take on things. Hope ur new home brings so much joy, peace n blessings in ur life!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Well written. Goodluck and hope you settle in nicely...going from your post, am sure you will!

nosa101 said...

Na how much dem they pay u? i hope 'tis 'nuff for future concerts :D

Anonymous said...

wow you have been around the block huh? but i'm sure you are more mature for it.

go in there and conquer...make your mark and make new friends!!


Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Congrats TMinx. You should be so used to relocating now. I can only wish you God's blessings as u embark on another phase of ur life. Take care, and may God bless you- Amen.

Onada said...

CONGRATS!!!! As one door shuts another one opens!!!

i felt a lot like you moving on to differnt places in my life but you learn to appreciate them cos the experiences make you who you are.

So are you moving country? i'm excited for you and about the new job!!!

p.s i updated my blog!

Angie said...

"I had stopped trying hard to fit in a long time ago. I let people try and fit in with me". I like that comment u made.
I pray this new change brings u fulfilment.
Wish u all the best in ur new them the wonderful stuff u r made of

Luminus said...

Even though I hardly know you, I'm so proud of you. Now I won't be able to come spy on you in your office, should've surprised you while I had the chance.

I wish you all the very best as you move into this next phase of your life.

Go get 'em Tiger!!!

Pilgrimage to Self said...

Good luck with your next job. Change is good.

TaureanMinx said...

@low, yes you guys turned me into a raving looney! I acquired a little bit of everyone’s madness and B’s blondness lol. Maybe the phone situation will be different this time round. Spoke LB today, he’s good.
@bella naija, thanks!
@ms.may, I did learn a lot along the way, don’t think I’d change any of the experiences I’ve had. Thanks for stopping by
@naijabloke, thanks Dude
@anonymous, lol, ive tried calling you but I always get some lady speaking the language. Email the right number my friend!
@biodun, will be in Naija for the next 6 months
@confessions of a moddy crab, thanks, I know I will.
@Nosa, I’m sure I can manage a few a year lol, but the money won’t come out of my pocket, I’m too Ijebu for that.
@abbey, thanks a lot!
@bijouxoxo, thanks for the prayer girl.
@onada, one word…FINALLY, lol
@angie, and I’m much better for it. Thanks a lot.
@luminus, how did you plan on spying on me in the first place lol?
@pilgrimage to self, thanks!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

Congratulations TMinx
I know all about moving and starting afresh...for me I never had a problem fitting in until I came to the States...I thought Nigeria was the most accomdating place...easy to make friends and what not...anyways may God continue to order your steps..Amen

temmy said...

Good luck and God's favour in your new job!

Naijadude said...

I thought its fun moving, but it can be otherwise.
I wish you goodluck and Congratulations in the new phase of your life.

Mona said...

lollll yet another very looooooong post but yea we get the gist, all the best dear ull be fine, life is full of change, that is the only thing that is constant (get the pun) u went to paris, ive been tryin to find that out since but i dont think u read ur older comments here on blogger and shutterchance anyways enjoy and have a blast. All the best with work too. Keep the Blogging Alive xxxx

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

As I read through your post I couldn't help but think a similar thing had happened to me - but Luckily for me during my younger years I had family with me whenever I moved - Isnt it sad that one cant say I have had this friend for like forever from when one was young - But thats just the life of a woman constantly on the move.

Congratulations on your new move and new job - I wish I could say I always looked forward to my move with such enthusiaam that you displayed - But I am inspired to know that moving is not necessary a bad thing - It just moulds you into a strong er individual -

You way of success is paved with Gold - and you will get to you desired destination in Jesus Name. Amen.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

congratulations on this new phase on ur life... it might be a challenge.. but you'll love it i think... Good luck with everything.. ur a great girl... they'd luv u out there and you'll love me too!!!

TP said...

Awww, it sounds like you have had lots of adventures so far! They have made you a stronger person, you now know you will survive in any environment or situation you find yourself. Congrats on your new job, and I pray that it will propell you higher in your career.

Belle said...

Awesome!! Congrats. I look forward to reading about your new experiences!

Nneka's World said...

Goodluck my dear!
I know how its like to move.
Have fun in sweden its a beautiful place

Luminus said...

How? She asks how? Girlfriend, you'd be surprised how much information I've got.

Techincally it wouldn't have been spying, 'cos I'd come up to you, you might think it was something akin to stalking

Like you would be so lucky.

Vickii said...

Good luck! I'm sure you'll do great and it's the right step for you to take now!

Interesting post, it was great reading about all your experiences!

bibi said...

nice post...good luck on ur new job..wat business skool did u attend in france ..Was it INSEAD?

Calabar Gal said...

Good Luck with ur new job girl!! Wishing u the very best. You are a true and living example to us all out here that things dont always go wrong when you relocate back to Nigeria - They only change for the better!!

Anonymous said...

Moves, moves, moves. Wish you all the best in the new one.

TaureanMinx said...

Thanks all! Mona i'm bad at that but as you see I'm trying. I did go to Paris...for months. Let me know if you need to know anything.

dazz said...

hey tminx,

i read blogs everyday but never comment. I have to say this entry had me teary eyed at work.

Had similar experiences at uni in england. just moved back to nieria five months ago for nysc and i feel like it is the worst decision i ever took in my life and wonder how i will get through this.

i know it will get better, thanks for giving me some strenght.