Lagos 101- Getting around

How to get around in Lagos

In Lagos, your car is one of the status symbols. “Did you see Finefaces’ new X5”?. It’s also a pre-requisite for getting a girl. . The fact that he is named Fineface has no bearing anymore. Many a time I have heard the phrase “Does he want us to jump Molue together”?, followed with a loud hiss. What counts is that he has an X5 or a beamer, a jag, a private jet etc.

But really getting around Lagos can be a nightmare! I have been stuck in traffic sometimes and gone into trance where I jump out of the car and do a jig as I pull my hair out like Rumplestilskin. Let’s not talk about the road rage that goes down in the streets of Lagos.


Public transport

Molue- Big huge yellow looking buses. They look like the yellow school buses in America.
Danfo- Smaller Version of the Molue
Okada- Motorcycles (I call them Mosquitoes that need to be slapped)
Keke Napep- A cross between motorcycle and a Tico car. Remember those cars that came from Japan?. Mostly seen in documentaries about India.
Taxi- Regular cars painted yellow and black.
Train- Has anyone seen a moving train lately?

All of these are potential death traps as the drivers have no regard for the law and are reckless and a danger to themselves and the passengers. The vehicles are hardly serviced and are just spare parts put together, the tires are usually worn and most times there are no side mirrors, break lights, breaks even. The passengers squeeze themselves into the cars like sardines and the conductor hangs from the side. If not for condition, I don’t think anyone in their right minds would want to use the Lagos public transport. It’s in shambles.

If you need to take a Taxi, please ensure you go to a taxi park where the Taxi’s are registered and can be accounted for. Your safety comes first, don’t jump into a random taxi and especially unmarked ones.

There are a lot of stories of people never reaching their homes after hopping into a random car posing as a Taxi.

Private Transport

Most people have at least one car in their homes and move around with that. It is necessary to get drivers from a trusted source and make sure you get references and know where they live. There have been incidents of drivers stealing the car and its contents and never being found. This is usually because Nigerians tend to be very trusting and not so thorough in searching out the background of the domestic employees.

Guys often strive to have a car because Nigerian girls tend to be materialistic. Guys therefore feel the need to hustle really hard for a job, money to spend on the girl, a car, and an apartment/house. Once you have these things, you can successfully play the field, dropping hints here and there about all your achievements which will dazzle the girls. Whatever happened to struggling and making it with your man? Everyone wants a self made man. The problem is it will probably be you and two or three others sharing this self made man.

Traffic

Lagos is divided into the Mainland and the Island. There are three main bridges connecting them; Eko Bridge, Carter Bridge and the Third Mainland Bridge (very original lol). A fourth Mainland Bridge is in the pipelines. Most of the population of Lagos lives on the Mainland.

There is always some sort of traffic. The only safe day is a Sunday. Rush hour time is between 7-9 in the morning and 5.30-9.0 in the evening. The flow of traffic is usually towards the Island in the morning and away from the Island in the evening.

Lately it’s not been very safe to travel during rush hour except you really have to. In that case

Ladies
-Have a separate handbag ALWAYS in the car filled with stuff you don’t need. It could be an old bag you don’t use anymore.
-A mobile phone no longer in use by anyone should also be placed in the car


Guys
-Have a mobile phone that is no longer in use
-Some cash on you

The reason is that there have been reports of hoodlums aka Area Boys (AB) who go around in traffic (mostly once it gets dark) stealing from people once in a while. I have actually experienced this but only once in my two years and most people have been lucky not to experience the same. The cowards know you have no where to go since you are trapped in the traffic so they move from car to car and then runoff before the police can get there. Now they do this very quickly and fade so they don’t have time to check what you give them. Everybody wins. Another tip is to probably wind the window down if your car is going to be attacked because there have been cases where the windows have been smashed with iron bars. Not trying to scare you guys or anything but it does happen. All they want are phones and bags. You will be bitch slapped if you have neither.

Hot spots (that I know of) are

Eko Bridge
Falomo Bridge (haven’t heard of any incidents lately)
Ozumba Mbadiwe near 1004 flats
Third Mainland Bridge
Lekki Express Way
Airport Road

Caverton Helicopters

The latest form of transportation is using a helicopter to get to your destination quickly. It is quick, convenient and expensive. The helipad is located in Victoria Island.

A note to those coming home for xmas. There will be parties, there will be fun, there will be drinking. Please, those that live on the mainland and go partying on the island should make plans to stay over till its sufficiently bright to go home in the morning. Either stay in the club till then (we know how to party till 6 in the morning literally) or stay over at a friends and catch some zzz's till morning. Also make sure the designated driver doesn't get carried away and have to many drinks. Some people don't know their own limits. Leaving at 2 in the morning to go back to the mailand makes no sense. Stay safe

There you go. Now you know how to stay safe while traveling within Lagos.

TMinx signing out

xxx