Words from the mind and the heart

For a while, I made my decisions based on what others did and trust me it was never regarding things that improved my life in anyway. Like I never said to myself, I need to go to the library day and night like Tom, seeing as he gets top grades all the time nooooo, I would say, I better kiss someone soon so I’m not so boring when the girls are gisting. Obviously thinking like this makes one makes several mistakes. These experiences led me to make a decision a few years ago.

Saying you are celibate is like pouring ice cold water all over a guys head. It’s like saying you live in Surulere lol, yes for real though some people are that shallow. I used to be scared to say it, like it made me a wierdo. But its just a natural preference for me. Sometimes I wonder if being that close to another human being is as deep for me as it is for others. I’m not standing on a moral holy pedestal looking down on others, I’m not even looking at this from a religious point of view. I made this decision for me. This is what makes ME happy, and makes my life calm and peaceful.

Sex is great, It’s like the strawberry on the icing, the last malteasers, the last sip of an amaretto sour. Like Morris Chestnut and Micheal Scofield in Prison Break. It compliments a relationship, it doesn’t make it. Like fine wine, its gets better each time with your partner as you learn more and more about one another. It also makes things complex and some people are not worth getting your life complicated over. It creates a false sense of attraction. I just can’t feel strongly enough for someone within days or weeks of meeting them and I certainly can’t juggle guys. I can’t fall for guy after guy. My heart doesn’t have the strength. I don’t feel like there is a lot of satisfaction in having mindless meaningless sex. The thing is that although we women blame men for sleeping around and cheating and not being able to control themselves but I had to sit down and think…when it comes down to me, I have to stay true to myself….How can I expect to meet a guy who has self control if I myself don’t have any.

I know the qualities I’m looking for, I don’t want a knight in shining amour, I’m not looking for ‘the one’ who completes me, I am one complete person. I’m just looking for one who complements me, and who I’ll complement…with our flaws and all...I’m just looking to make the right choice when the time comes.

Maybe I’m too much of a romantic.

Image from here