Hey Ms fatty fatty

Disclaimer: This song is not being rude....Listen to the lyrics



I don't know why I like these songs when all women do is whine half naked in the videos. It’s really catchy though. My blog peeps how are you? I have not heard back from Pilgrimage but the plans are set. Pilgrimage if you read this, please email oh.

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean yesterday...what the....?

So I realised I'm lactose intolerant and I'm sad. I mean I love milk. Maybe this is punishment from the days my mum would send me to get peak milk for her tea. I would drink half of it quickly looking around like a small theif, then I would wipe my mouth and the can to get rid of any residue and take the can with confidence to her.

She would then ask, 'Tminx, did you drink from this milk?'
With complete innocence, I would say 'no mummy'.
Then she would land me with a sharp slap complaining about 'how children of nowadays are not even afraid to lie'. I would cry, but I had my fill of milk.

It graduated to Dano powdered milk. I would get home from school and mix dry milo or was it bournvita and milk, then proceed to eat it while watching Bop TV or MTV Asia (who remembers having MTV Asia as part of the cable package?) Well I do! And my siblings can attest to it because people are making me feel mad for saying MTV Asia existed in Nigeria.

Anyway my mum couldn't understand how a whole can of powdered Dano milk finished in less than a week so she found a solution. All the milk went to her room. So in the morning we would take our cups with milo and sugar in it, go to her room, greet her GOODMORNING MUMMY (or get your first slap of the day or maybe no milk) then she would proceed to measure out one or two TEAspoons of Dano powdered milk into our cups. She was on a one woman quest to save her greedy children. She actually tried to ration the tissue paper as well but I think she got tired or maybe she felt she had taught us that lesson well...Count four perforations and that’s enough for one toilet visit. Maybe that’s why I over compensate with hotel toilet paper. Also woes betide you if you go out and eat excessively and accept everything offered to you. She would give you the eye which meant ‘You just wait till we get home!!!!’

Well it worked, all of us have good eating habits, like not eating really late frequently. We used to have dinner at 6. The only person who doesn't follow this pattern is the baby of the house as my mum had stopped serious child rearing by then. She has all the milk and all the food she wants at any time lol.

So anyway, Soya milk is a close substitute, only one thing. IT’S NASTY. I plan to find some drugs or natural herbs I can take with milk so it digests properly and doesn't make me all bloated.

Enjoy the reat of your work week :)