Self Analysis

Every year we make decisions to change certain aspects of ourselves....bad habits, certain behaviours and when I make these decisions I usually stick to them for a few weeks and revert back to my old behaviour in no time. Some are easier than others because some of these habits or patterns of behaviours are deeply rooted in us. We have been exhibiting them for years and it’s not so easy to just turn around and change it even though you may know better. Who remembers the phrase "It’s my NATURE" lol.

I did a personality type test for work and the results touched on a few bahavioural patterns I used to think were all bad. I remember always wishing I had a different personality type. Why am I not more this and that like this and that! But after reading my assessment, I have accepted that not everyone can be the same. There are various types of personalities and being a certain way doesn't make you worse or better than the next person but how you work with your personality to your best advantage is what matters.

I'll share a little bit of what I need to be careful of regarding interpersonal relationships when it comes to my personality type. These are the things that stood out the most for me and that I acknowledge I need to work on or to continue to work on:

1) In CONFLICT SITUATIONS, Taureanminx, you may find communicating and interpersonal exchange difficult to handle. You have a tendency to move away or avoid conflict so you can think about the issues and concerns of others. As a way of coping, you may accommodate the needs of others at the expense of your own to alleviate the stress you feel. You may try to reduce the conflict by trying to minimize the risks, slow the action down, and stick to familiar routines, details, and things you know. Under pressure you might “just wait ’til it’s over.”

I know conflict can be a good thing but I absolutely hate it. I remember quarrelling with a good friend of mine years ago and thinking it was the end of the world. She was shocked at my reaction and how upset I was as she thought it was just a normal argument that would eventually be resolved. I say yes when I mean no or beat around the bush if I feel there will be a potential conflict. It makes me look bad even though I have the best intentions. I've improved a lot on this, now I accept that there will always be some sort of conflict and that theres really is no pleasing some people but it still upsets me. I like the advice to just wait till its over. Works tres well for me.

2) When COMMUNICATING with others you will prefer to support others and accommodate their needs, but do so by limiting the requirements you are willing to address to take on. You will tend to be indirect and qualifying in your statements to others, yet want to show that you care about them.

Same as above. I like to do things for people even if I have to put my own needs aside. It makes me feel good but I don't like to make hard commitments to do these things. I'd rather they let me get back to them in my own time because I don't like to feel pressured or like I'm being forced to do things. My family knows me well, threats and direct orders never work. The funny thing is that I’m more productive under pressure but I just like to think that its me pressuring myself not others.

The problem with doing nice things is that I end up feeling resentful when I feel like I’m not appreciated, when no one asked me to do those things in the first place. And since I hate conflict I'd rather keep my feelings to myself which compounds the issue. I've started towards making a change in this regard by saying NO to doing things for people when I don't feel like it or my gut feeling tells me its a bad idea or if it affects the things I should be doing for ME.

3) You will prefer face-to-face interactions. Email or voicemail are chores that you have to get to. You will put distant, non-face-to-face communications aside when you are with others. Being people-oriented, tasks will always be second.

A terrible thing that I do. I find it hard to keep in touch. My closest friends are those around me at that period in time. Once they move far away, I think of them all the time but I don't get the chance to effectively keep up with them. This I have tried to change by setting several reminders and responding to emails as soon as I get them because once I don't reply its hard to go back to respond. I love both my blogs, at least my friends can keep up with me.

4) Although as a Specialist you are strong in the people domain, You tend to be guarded or secretive with people. As an indirect, introvert-acting person, you often do not reveal much about yourself. You are more comfortable dealing with what you know, understand, and prefer—including in your interpersonal relationships! This may lead to perceptions of aloofness from others and lead to interpersonal relationships that are often infrequent and short-lived. You tend to shy away from extensive, indepth involvement with people. You often do not express your feelings or thoughts straightforwardly because you feel you may hurt the other person or weaken your position with them. Instead you may tell the other person what you think they want to hear.

If I'm not comfortable with you, its really hard for me not to be guarded. I find it strange some things strangers share with themselves. I guess blogging has helped in this aspect. I have heard all these words used to describe me, mostly from guys. I seem to be a bit more open with girls. I am trying to express myself better and to be open and direct. Sometimes I really worry that the truth is a bit too much truth and might make the person angry and this has undermined some of my relationships because I don't say what I really want to say but now even if the truth kills me, I’ll stand by it.

GOOD ADVICE FROM THE ASSESSMENT

Be more open with people and less guarded. You will appear less secretive and less withdrawn. You must remember that trust is earned through disclosures, which make you understandable. Next time you are with someone you feel is a person with whom you want to develop a long-term, personal relationship, begin to notice what you say and what you are really saying to yourself. Notice what you are not saying. It could be that what you are not saying is the key to what you really need from this person. Ask, “If you were to be honest with this person, what would you say?” “If you were to say what you were thinking, what do you think the other person would do?” “Say?” “What is at risk if you were to be honest?” “What do you think is at risk for you if you are not honest with your own needs?” Try to be honest with yourself.

5) You need to develop a better balance between pleasing others and pleasing yourself. You are so often focused on your care-taking activities that you forget to acknowledge and affirm yourself beyond the good works you do for others. You can know yourself through skills, hobbies, and experiences, which have little to do with people. The challenge is to find those things and allot time to them.

I have- my photography....and my blog :)

My question is...why do I care about people so much!!!!!