The Okada, the Shower and the Lalle.

This weekend was very eventful. I spent most of it planning my friends shower which was on Sunday. I bought the balloons, and the presents. I downloaded the games. I planned the ‘surprise’ with the groom. I say ‘surprise’ in quotes because she knew it was happening, she just didn’t have any details. Her sister and I decided it was best we did it at her house and got her hubby to take her out and bring her back when we were good and ready. After buying the items with another friend of mine, we proceeded to the house in Lekki in a mini convoy. The turning to her house is kind of shady, as its shortly after the second roundabout on the left carriageway and sand divides the roads. It’s not an official turning but the alternative would be to drive to the third roundabout to turn all the way back so most people turn go across the sand and turn before on-coming traffic hits you. It’s not very safe. Anyway I made sure we were all clear for take off before crossing. So I took my time crossing to make sure there was no car in sight and as we crossed my cousin and I even have time to read the name of the street as we pass the sign post when we hear SMASH!

I was in shock, I had no idea what it could have been. The next thing some dude is nearly breaking my window and looking for something to hit me with. Then a whole hoard of guys flock to the car telling me to open the door. HELL NO, not with that crazed fellow in your midst. The guy had his wife and two kids on an Okada and had apparently run right into the back of the car near the tank. My friend behind said they all flew off! I can’t even begin to ask the WHY questions because they were numerous. He said he had been horning for a long time and I refused to stop….dude if it was that long a time, why didn’t you slow down? You were riding at a manic speed obviously cos I didn’t see you close to me AT ALL.

Anyways these dudes start taking their shirts off and screaming, “you must take him and his family to the hospital”…at this stage I’m getting worked up and as you know when upset I can fill river Nile. It was just the injustice of it all. But life first, I agree to take them to the hospital...while in the car, I call my dad to tell him some okada guy ran into me….SCCCCREEEECCCHHHH. “STOP this car” he said. I turn to my cousin to mouth off saying this dude isn’t even happy I’m agreeing to go to the hospital. The anger was rising.

You don’t know who I am. I am calling my people. They will take me to the hospital. Is it because I am driving an Okada?? They will send the car. But you just wait till they get here. I will show you who I am.

He proceeds to barricade the front of the car to prevent me from moving while hoping around on one leg. His children are scared and crying and the mum is upset. I try to tell her to talk sense to her husband but it seems like she’s scared of him. My dad calls to say he’s on his way while the man is gesticulating wildly outside telling me I didn’t come out from the car, then I tell him he’s not happy that I’m going along with the hospital plan and that I don’t know him. WHO THE F**K ARE YOU? At this point if I had uttered even one word, it would have been like molten lava.

A guy I know stops with his friend cos they recognize the cars and try to calm him down. At the end of the day he says he doesn’t want to go to the hospital he just wants his Okada fixed and to be settled…settled for what? Anyway my father arrives and takes them off to the hospital while

At the hospital he eventually told my dad and uncle who is a Policeman that I was using my phone and had stopped abruptly in the middle of the road then started again the stopped. Apparently the second time I stopped was when he hit me because he intially slowed down but resumed his speep because he thought I was going to let him through. They know he is yarning tales, cos that wasn't his intial story. I had to look for my phone to call my dad. LIAR LIAR pants on fire. I did not stop abruplty, am I looking for a death sentence? He hit my back, he was wrong but I'll let sleeping dogs LIE lol. He was settled which is what he wanted in the first place. I won't complain, thank God for his family's life...

Anyway I left them to it and went on to host the bridal shower because it wouldn’t be fair to just go home and mess her day up since I planned all the games etc.

I didn’t think I’d be in the mood but I settled down enough before the ‘surprise’. We set up the house and games and small chops and drinks and eventually had a good time. The guests arrived a little later and we called her husband to flash us when he got to the gate. She must have seen the cars but she was a good sport and played along lol. Congrats Eeshi! We also got a Hausa lady from Obalende to do some henna designs on the hands and feet of all the guests. Despite the emotional first half of the day, the shower was a success.

I feel tres sexy today and this lalle does get one quite a lot of attention. Somehow my hands and feet feel extra feminine.