Moving on

It’s a strange feeling…a mixed bag of emotions. I have moved on so many times in my life but it’s still with a little bit of excitement and apprehension.

I remember vividly moving from Benin to Lagos and starting school at Corona VI. I was the new kid on the block and most of the girls had their little clicks. I stuck to myself most times but tried to join in the fun and activities sometimes. I was painfully shy and very sensitive so I was easy an easy target. Even then I still had episodes of crazy behaviour like shifting my seat partners chair so he fell on his butt. He had been running to gossip about me with his friend each time he got up. I didn't mind school but didn't particularly like it. I would try so hard to fit in, be like the cool kids until I realised it was pointless and so I learnt to be myself and suddenly it didn't seem so hard anymore.

Then secondary school came and I wanted to be in the same school as my bestest cousin in the world so we planned it all and took the exams and at the last minute she decided she wanted to go to another school where all her friends were. So I had gotten myself into a big problem. Going to a school all the way in Benin where I knew no one and boy were the girls harsh. I had fallen back into my pattern...trying to fit in and coming across as soft and a very easy target. I still remember a girl called Chichi. On the last day of school in JS2 first term, all our friends had been picked up one by one until it was me and her left. She turned to me with disgust on her face…"How could they leave me here with YOU?!", and walked off. I can never forget, we didn't even have any quarrels before that. I was about 9 or 10. I never went back to that school. Not because of the 'incident' but the distance to Lagos and the fact that I was very ill that holiday.

I changed school and vowed I'd have a new beginning. I was going to repackage myself. I would not come across as soft, I would be strong. I would speak up for myself. I would give you ten for every one they gave me. I won the award for razor mouth the next year. But I was still soft when it came to certain people. I guess you just can't completely rid yourself of your innate personality. I remember having to go on a school trip and there being only one seat left on the bus but there were three of us left to get on. I decided to stick with my friend and miss the school trip but last minute...she got on. Yes you know who you are Ms T A-K lol. So it was me and the other girl who I wasn't really friends with left to make the most of the day.

Moving at 16 was another emotional moment. I was excited to be off, where I'd have freedom to do what I liked and I'd be too far away to be reprimanded. I was happy going to school and staying up late watching TV and shopping and eating take out and hanging out with my nigerian flatmate who was the total opposite of me. My defender. VOLTRINA. We were like sisters, I loved her but not all the time lol. This was freedom to me and I loved it. I wanted to be responsible so my friend and I decided to get a job. I remember my first job at MacDonald’s and getting a warning because I was 30 minutes late due to the fact that I'd locked myself out and my wallet was in the house. I even knocked on my neighbours’ door to borrow some money to get to work and back at which point I would promptly pay her because my flatmate would be home. I don't think she even answered me before shutting the door. It reminded me of my neighbours in Nigeria and how that could never have happened. I was so upset because I had never been late and the manager had not taken that into account. I quit shortly after and decided working with insensitive bosses wasn't for me. I also realised I didn't really need the extra money.

I remember at 17 getting to Uni and shedding tears in my room cos everything was so foreign and unfriendly and parents were dropping off their kids while I had pulled all my luggage alone from London to Bristol and to the campus. The room looked so bare and my flatmates barely nodded a greeting. I didn't want to be responsible; I just wanted to be at home eating a home cooked meal. I got over it eventually. I always do. Then I started having a little fun and eventually a blast.

I remember starting my MBA and having to go to Paris for the first leg. I had never been, didn't have an apartment and no one I met spoke any English. I had to get a place to stay, a phone, load credit on it, manoeuvre the metro, get to my Uni, and shop for food all in a foreign language. Boy did I bastardise that sexy language. I had many moments of frustration but it made me a stronger person. I was able to settle down eventually and also in the other countries we had to settle in but by then I had a good group of friends who were in for the ride as well. I even made more along the way especially the best group of Naija girls I met in Philly. I'm truly glad I met them. I had stopped trying hard to fit in a long time ago. I let people try and fit in with me.

Then the decision to move back to Nigeria. I had made up my mind. Many tried to sway me but I was certain that it was the right path to take but I didn't know why. For the first 5 months, I could have shot myself for probably making the most stupid decision of my life. Lagos is the capital of frustration especially when you are used to things working like clockwork. But guess what, things can only get better and they did. Many others moved back home, I got a job and wasn't bored anymore and we actually have fun, besides fun is what you make of your time.

Now I'm moving on to a new job, with new people and even though I’m apprehensive, I know from the pattern of my life, things can only get better from here. I'm going to miss my colleagues here. They are a great bunch of people who make me laugh all the time. I hope the new set isn’t ANAL. lol. I'm resigning formally today. Just waiting for the HR to step in then I'll send out the email.

Dear Friends,

This is to formally inform you all that I will be moving on.

I have resigned my appointment with X Limited and November 06, 2006 will be my last work day.

It has been a pleasure working with all of you and I have enjoyed the time I have spent working here but I have accepted a job offer in a different role to procurement which I believe will provide me with new career challenges.

I thank you all for your support and wish you all the best.

Regards

Tminx